Friday 21st November

Good morning to you all. Three weeks into the project and the responses continue to make us laugh and cry. And here's another one to challenge your imaginations and memories:

21

Leeches were once a favoured species. They sang; their bodies were encased in mother of pearl shells. The first leech to taste blood said it was all a terrible mistake.

34 comments:

  1. Huddled inside its pearly shell, trembling on a bed of ice, the oyster heard the lemon scream as it was sliced, and waited for the first acid drop to fall.

    freya_scott@yahoo.com

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  2. There’s Edward Cullen now, and Bill Compton. And Spike and Angelus before them … What is it about these bloodsuckers that we want to sate their thirst with our juice?

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  3. Every leech in the land mentally challenged the poet. Proclaim our medical prowess! Sing our honest actions! ‘Wee, sleekit, cow’rin, tim’rous beastie,’ he wrote. Excellent. But then ‘To a mouse?'

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  4. A salty delicious one. Now they gather night-times in gelatinous get-togethers, to slither and suck around limp crucifixes hanging on succulent chests. But there are no reflections in the silver-shine.

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  5. Today leeches are only of value to some medical practioners and all freshwater biologists. Hold up a freshly caught leech to anyone else and watch them squirm. 'Ewwwwww!' They exclaim.

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  6. Its tiny mouth contains three jaws arranged in a Y shape, each with 100 microscopic teeth. After feeding for an hour, it doesn’t need to eat again for six months.

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  7. Reclining hermaphrodites surround the pond,
    Skin smoother than polished Carrara marble.
    Traces of anticoagulant are tell-tale signs
    Of the recent bacchanalia, laden with kisses.
    More prosaic their protruding pot belly.

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  8. But then the credit crunched and the leeches who, up till then, had lived on the finest blood suddenly discovered that people would much rather squish them than kiss them.

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  9. Lollipops were once manufactured at the Royal Mint and their wrapping was made of gold leaf*. The spherical moulds were originally said to have been modelled on the shape of the earth, with inspiration taken for their patterning from contrasts between continents and oceans. Debate amongst literary scholars continues to this day as to whether the metaphor of lollipop as globe was coincidental or, in fact, evidence of a higher intelligence of the period hitherto unrecognised, signifying great insight into the effects of global warming. Extension of this metaphor by some whereby the holding of the lollipop stick comes to represent the hand of God has become an ecumenical matter throughout western culture. Others claim that the ridge around the lollipop is more aligned to the image of Saturn, that the way it can splinter and dissolve in the mouth simulates the core of rock and ice known to exist there.

    Side effects of sucking lollipops have been well documented over the years but nevertheless, there is a core of hardened suckers who follow the preachings of a fictional iconic leader, Kojak. However, this glamourising of lollipop consumption is less than helpful when it comes to convincing emerging generations that to be bald with no teeth is undesirable. Therefore, the trend looks set to continue with hospitals and day centres being full of old men displaying these distressing symptoms. Research will continue into why it is usually men who are affected severely. Some have suggested that lollipops were given to men to keep them quiet whilst the women talked freely.

    * This later changed to paper following the sudden increase in popularity of lollipops; as frenzied consumers discarded their litter on the ground, rumours that the streets were paved with gold led to what historically became known as The Gold Rush.

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  10. Leeches in pearl shells,
    wrong place to dwell,
    if the devil stops thinking evil,
    if angels fail to descend,
    if leeches don’t suck blood,
    greatest conundrums
    incredible in the world.

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  11. The book suggested hirudineans to bring down the fever. “Blood,” it said, “carries the humour.” In the absence of leeches I slit her throat. It looked like she was smiling.

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  12. I think of you
    as a black umbrella
    rain is
    your mantra
    when it soaks
    to the bone
    mixes with
    the blood
    you swell with pride
    remembering
    the good times.

    echulme@hotmail.com

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  13. He sneered sideways at the snails, all slickness and snobbery in their asset-backed security. Their day would come, he reassured himself. Oh yeah, you can take that to the bank.

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  14. Oh Anonymous - you and your slick snails made us laugh!!

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  15. It’s no coincidence that the apple Eve stole was blood red; however, would you hang the thief or the man in the background saying ‘go on, go on, do it!

    Martin

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  16. An excuse because it didn’t like the taste?
    Guilt – longing for its innocent past
    while condemning its descendants for ever?
    Or is it just trying to play
    a repentant Dracula?

    Mary Rose

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  17. Leeches ache to be reclothed in mother of pearl shells, to sing again the song of paradise, to recover all that their ancestors lost with that first terrible, terrible, mistake.

    Abbie Halpin
    abbiehalpin(at)gmail(dot)com

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  18. Hello, Abbie - no problem, we've deleted the other post you made in error. Thanks for taking part in YM.

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  19. A cold wind swirled and threatened to rip the old rain coat from Dan’s back. He turned up his collar to deflect some of the driving rain, but still felt a cold trickle run down his neck. At the club, he met Brian, his guide and mentor. Brian’s eyes glowed in the dark. “Cheer up Dan, you look half dead.”

    Dan’s inspiration to turn vampire had come from watching Blade and Buffy. He thought it mainly involved pounding rock music and wild sex with leather clad women. “This is crap.” He snarled.

    “Why what happened?”

    Brian couldn’t keep his face straight once Dan started his tale of the night before. “First, how am I supposed to bite her jugular seductively when there’s four inches of fat hanging in rolls around her neck? Then, I realise she’s not squirming with fear drenched pleasure. She’s still got a bag of chips in her hand and is eating them over my shoulder. I’ve never tasted blood like it. It was like drinking from the sump of a mark two escort.”

    “Well, maybe you should consider moving. Salford has never been recognised as a LeStradesque cool kind of place.” He knew Dan couldn’t move far. The time to it took to fly meant that he was in daylight for some of the journey and Dan hadn’t realised he was claustrophobic until he had woken up in his coffin.

    “Well Dan, you made the decision. You just have to live with it. You know the tale about oysters? They were happy, they made pearls and people loved them, fed them, but also ate them. Then, one day a vampire appeared and offered eternal life and the chance to bite back, just like I offered you.”
    “Did they take it?”
    “Sure, leeches are actually vampire oysters.”

    Monkey @ monkeyonmyshoulder.co.uk

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  20. She's a leech, needy, demanding, attaching herself to the nearest male in desperation. And when it is all over, the victim must buy a new SIM card to repel her.

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  21. The taste, at first, was thrilling,
    sweet and metallic, intoxicating.

    We glutted on the heady brew,
    grew slow, grew fat,

    grew restless, insatiable,
    lying blind in greedy darkness,

    desiring more.

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  22. The taste, at first, was thrilling,
    sweet and metallic, intoxicating.

    We glutted on the heady brew,
    grew slow, grew fat,

    grew restless, insatiable,
    lying blind in greedy darkness,

    desiring more.

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  23. Thirty- two coal black leeches
    smelt the French sergeant's skin
    bloodletting tasting
    purging seeing
    tasting sickness
    yellow beast

    red drops fall on a dainty hanky
    stitches counting time
    sucking
    single combat

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  24. “ Leeches were once a favoured species. They sang; their bodies were encased in mother of pearl shells. The first leech to taste blood said it was all a terrible mistake.” she said.

    “Are you saying that to make me feel better? Because it doesn’t.” he said, back turned in anger.

    “No, I’m just saying it to remind you that we’re not the only ones. We’re just the ones that seem to get remembered.”

    “Yeah, TELL me about it. It’s all people ever talk about.”

    “You must admit, it was kinda worth it, wasn’t it?” she said, as she tickled the back of his neck, teasingly.

    “Worth it! Worth it?! Only you could say such a thing,” he said as he shrugged her hand away.

    “OK, stay in the huff about it, it was only a lousy garden. If you stopped sulking, maybe we could get on with finding another one. But no, with you it’s got to drag on for days, hasn’t it?”

    “Shut up.”

    “I will not shut up. All I did is what any woman would do. All I did is what you would have done eventually. Once you’d got over yourself and your appendage.” she said pointing at his crotch.

    “Don’t you dare point at that! You’ll be lucky if you ever see it again after what you did!” he shouted, “Anyway, you’re one to talk, that serpent is a pretty telling metaphor, lady! How do you explain that one, eh?”

    “Oh give it a rest. Anyway, what’s this place called anyway? Adam, I think we’re lost,” she sighed looking around at the barren land around them.

    “No we’re not. We’re not lost”

    “Let’s ask someone…”

    “No, we ARE NOT LOST!” he fumed as he walked on ahead, his fig leaf blowing in the harsh wind.

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  25. He was a bit of a leech, you know. You had to unfasten each of his suction caps; but then the blood would flow. He had two hearts, it seems.

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  26. Gerry said

    With fifty leeches all over your skin, their
    thousand bellies swelling, as they suck three
    litres of blood, you don't hear their song;
    imagine them beautiful in nacre.
    It's terrible!

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  27. He watches over her; hungry. With pale skin exposed, the scent of her fuels his desire. His eyes glimmer in the moonlight; feral. Blinded by the night, she surrenders all.

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  28. She didn’t mean to eat him. It was a mistake. When he cut his finer, she kissed it better. The taste of his blood woke something in her. Something primal.

    Jamieson Wolf
    jamiesonwolf@gmail.com

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  29. He knew it was a mistake as soon as he said it. Tried to climb back on the fence. But now gravity had a hold, all his dithering was futile.

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  30. In the Chaudefour Valley there is a natural spring. It rises into the Chaudefour river and colours it red with iron. You can taste blood from the wounds in it.

    redjim99

    jimbarron@walkauvergne.co.uk

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  31. Leeches, Lechers and Lilliputians, that is whom decorously I would have to tea. Tricking them with sugar and Devonshire cream, I’d turn those nasty little habits of theirs into crumbs.

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  32. In the Chaudefour Valley the natural spring of the Source St Anne rises red with iron. They bring the children here each day so they know the taste of blood.

    Late again, pants.

    redjim99

    jimbarron@walkauvergne.co.uk

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  33. Had some problems this morning getting it to load?

    redjim99

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  34. She'd never let him out of her sight, afraid that if she did, he'd find someone else. In the end, unable to bear it any longer, he did exactly that.

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