Good morning. Have you written your Christmas cards yet? No? Never mind, here's a Message to get you in the mood.
Dear Special Friends
What a better time than Xmas to meet new soulmates! I love to imagine your surprise at getting this letter! Some of you might have gone straight to the bottom to see that the sender is indeed Brian, but this time it’s Veronica-and-Brian as opposed to Jane-and-Brian! I’m pleased to meet you!!
When Brian told me about Jane’s now famous Christmas letters, I thought her tragic death was no excuse to lose touch! Even our therapist has joined our quest to forge a new, special and wonderful relationship (very unlike Jane and Brian’s but that’s another story).
So what’s happening? You’d be amazed to see how much happier Brian looks these days! Jane was a wonderful woman in many ways, but even her friends among you will agree her dress sense wasn’t one of them! I know you’ll all agree that Brian could never be an autumn, so why did Jane keep buying him all those brown clothes? But I digress. To our delight Kevin at Headzone has taken Brian’s hair under control, and his cosmetic surgery is planned for May. Watch this space…!
You’ll probably be relieved to hear we’ve cleared out all Jane’s boring books – what a dust trap! – and painted the walls a nice Magnolia colour. In the garden, we cleared out Jane’s herbs and laid some wonderful trouble-free paving. In place of that horrible old apple tree, there now stands a sculpture of Brian and I making love in celebration of that natural and important part of our lives!
We hope all you special people will visit us. My sweet Brian says I’m too modest, but I’m sure you’ll find my cooking is in a different league to Jane’s homely fare!
Yes, friends, come to this joyous celebration of our love!